We were in a stall, but we still freaked out, and we both slipped, and I came at that exact moment, and it shot into my girlfriend's ear and onto the shower nozzle, which caused my cum to spray all over the place and mix in with the blood that was coming from the back of my head.Both my and my girlfriend's clothes were outside of the stall, and the old lady was standing outside.
He jerked the blanket off, grabbed his dad's ball sack, and promptly fell off the couch, balls still in hand."—Reddit user Beainainaess"I'd just started dating a girl.
I'd been drinking and smoking, and I'd popped in a piece of gum so my breath wouldn't stink when we made out. I thought maybe it was some weird discharge from her. After a few months of dating, she confessed to me that the day after our first encounter, she'd found the same thing in her pubic region. Apparently, when I was eating her out, the gum in my mouth got stuck in her pubes."—Reddit user Revjeremyduncan"My buddy was having sex with a girl when he remembered something he wanted to tell her earlier that day.
I guess he just liked the way I squirmed when he did it, but I would always tell him not to.
I HATE being tickled since I'm soooo sensitive and I lose all control of my body when it happens.
After some smooching, feeling up, and whatnot, I went down on her. The next morning, when I was taking a shower, I noticed some white, sticky stuff on my cock. So he leaned in, in the middle of sex, and whispered (likely in a heavy, panting, sex voice), 'Did you know that Tony Danza had a talk show?
'"—Reddit user RMC89"This probably isn't the most embarrassing, but I know I will never forget the time I swallowed and there was so much semen that it came out of my nose. At least he didn't notice."—Reddit user Oh_My_Sagn"Me and my girlfriend were fucking in our apartment's gym showers, and an old lady came into the room.
He liked to let her out of her cage so she could get some exercise when he was home.
One night he had let her out and while we were having sex, I suddenly feel this cold, wet nose on my thigh.
Knowing how candid people tend to get on Reddit, we visited the site to find out what real people cite as their funniest sex stories. From spontaneous bodily sounds to unexpected fluids to a couple of way-too-friendly pets, these stories put our own sexual crack-ups to shame."One time during sex, my S. and I tried to do the 'roll over while still boning' thing to switch positions from girl on top to missionary.
We both went for it, but somehow we tried to roll opposite ways, and his rolling managed to send me flying completely off the bed, caught air and everything.
Anyway, he was on top of me tickling me one time and I lost control and kneed him in the balls. It put an abrupt end to our foreplay."—Reddit user Energirl"When I made my girlfriend at the time squirt while not recognizing that her phone was on the bed and she had accidentally dialed her aunt with her ass so her aunt just got a very graphic message on her answering machine."—Reddit user schwitz"I started dating this girl in my earlier 20s.