Don’t allow someone to keep pulling the same con on you numerous times because there’s ‘hopeful’ and then there’s relationship crack.It’s also important not to just focus on the fact that they keep coming back – they keep bullshitting their way in and leaving too.What can be incredibly perplexing and even painful though, is when they stick around (and you let them) but they still won’t cough up the relationship goods, or they go but they keep boomeranging in and out of your life, raising your hopes each time.
Last night, I was in a large banquet room, which I think because of the recent storm, is now the restaurant and bar. I watched people drink and yell at the top of their lungs at the football game broadcasting on a huge wall mounted screen. ” a man bellowed over and over, trying to get others to join in. 2017 was easily the most interesting year I’ve experienced in America since 2009, the start of the Obama administration. Between Trump, his family and the Republican party, he is, ironically, the one who has kept it real.
Another man had what looked like a cowbell that he shook as hard as he could. Donald Trump has changed political landscape more than any other American politician in my life time. For the last week or so, Orrin Hatch has been in my thoughts.
Whether they’re coasting in a relationship on their terms or they keep popping back in your life, both of these things tell you that you need to decide what you need and want and act upon them instead of waiting for them to ‘do the right thing’ when from their perspective, they’re happy because things are on their terms.
They’re just not that special that you should manage your expectations into crumbs for the ‘benefit’ of having them in your life. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.
Why, if they know that they can’t give me what I want, are they still hanging around like a blue arsed fly letting me think that it’s a possibility?
One of two things are going to happen: You’re going to end up managing down your expectations until one day it suddenly occurs to you that your needs, wants, and expectations aren’t being met while they’re having a grand ‘ole time on their terms.
Unfortunately what tends to happen is you’ll either 1) dismiss the red flag, 2) blame you for the fact that they don’t want the same things and convince yourself that you’ve done something to jeopardise the relationship, or 3) take up a vocation in trying to change them.
You may have a Return On Investment mentality of “I’ve put in X months/years so I cannot exit now because it would be a waste” neglecting to realise that if you ignore what the difference is telling you, you might be like a reader I recently spoke with who clocked up 12 years with someone whose position never changed and she’d known it from a few years in.
If they turn around and say that they want to keep it casual when you’re actually looking to move forward into a serious relationship, I wouldn’t go into it because I can guarantee that it will end in big dollopy tears that belong to you.