For example, I met up with a guy whose profile picture wasn't exactly my type, but hey, he liked comedy and had an adorable profile and picked a dope restaurant. Another was a surfer in Hermosa Beach who on the surface lacked ambition but that Modern Art Museum membership he had was good enough for me to check him out while we both checked out the new collection. Or perhaps you love '80s music—this guy used to be an exec at Capitol Records!
Step 2: Assemble 5 Good guys Here's who you need: The Professor: A guy who's an expert on a topic you love. He may not be everything you need but damn that Pat Benatar concert was fun, or how cool was it to cuddle while watching Venus Williams play?
They each offered a different piece of the puzzle I was looking for, and by dating them all at the same time, I started to realize the things that were most important to me.
And—spoiler—for my friends and me, this dating method has led to all of us getting engaged.
Because have you ever been "ghosted" after a first date?
In the era of swipe left culture, even the slightest mention of art, pop culture, or politics in the small bio of a thumbnail on my i Phone would give me the go-ahead to judge their personality. The lid to my pot may have been swiped or blocked long ago. I could have banished him to the Dark i Cloud for a bad selfie (although I still maintain the "selfie standard": a messy room, a filthy carpet or a dirty bathroom mirror is a deal breaker! Sure, I'll spend my hard-earned money on a Coldplay concert, or go to club where I can't hear or talk to you. Because that's where the guy who goes to art galleries is.
It bored me and prevented me from connecting with interesting people, and any budding connection stayed on the surface—but I'm cool dammit! I had a long list of what I was looking for in the 100% guy. At the art gallery." That's when it dawned on me that I needed to BE the type of person I wanted to be with.
Ever put too much energy in trying to make a stranger happy, only for them not to appreciate it?
When you find someone, do you burn that flame so bright it fizzles out at the first road bump?" Practicing with a PINER makes these relationships possible. At some point THE WILDCARD could walk in and go right to the head of the line. And be sure to schedule one personal day for yourself every two weeks.The thing is…remember when our parents told us not to do something and it always made that "thing" appear more attractive? THE WILDCARD will help you stay at the top of your game and always looking your best. Not only will you grow as a person but these are great places to meet a WILDCARD.I also realized that I needed to re-think my criteria for that 100% guy, especially when it came to the "just dating" phase. was only seeing a guy if I thought he might be the complete 100% package and that clearly wasn't working, this time I was going to try something different and date multiple people.It's ridiculous to expect ONE guy to be ALL the things I need in a life partner—especially on the first date! And maybe until I found that 100% person, I could find what I needed from several guys who fit 20% of my criteria and at the same time stay open to the possibility that my definition of the perfect guy and my checklist might grow and change as I did. I re-downloaded my dating apps, went on tons of dates, all while making sure to save one day a week for just me and my friends. The guys I was interested in and with whom I was most compatible starting separating themselves out into predictable categories—five of them, to be exact.It's great to have one safe and familiar partner without expectations. You won't need the rush of the touch of a stranger. Only catch: THIS RELATIONSHIP MUST NEVER BE CONSUMMATED (while on your five-guy search).